So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
