I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
