If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
