I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize