i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
