you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Randomize