false alarm. still invincible.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just high enough for therapy.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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