there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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