so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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