this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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