I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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