What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
