We won't sleep together?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
