my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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