I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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