And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
kristin has been a bad kristin
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
