i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
