Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
