I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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