Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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