oh god the rape fog is back!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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