I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
