Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
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