Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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