I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
The air taste purple.
Randomize
