I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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