found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize