3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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