Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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