Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
