he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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