The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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