Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
