you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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