names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
