There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
