Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
