I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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