So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
