I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
