i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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