she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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