What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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