I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
