I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
