Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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