and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
