I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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