Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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