Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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