Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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