I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
