We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
