Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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