Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Randomize
