apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
