I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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