census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
